Redefining Rinn

Afgan's Confession No. 1

2009-06-03T19:20:00.002+08:00

Aduuuuhhhh.... This young fella has really got me hooked up with his beautiful voice. Bukan nak suruh lakukan album dia, but his album is worth every single sen yang you keluarkan. Beli lah and you be the judge...

Afgan, congratulations. You have just made me your No. 1 fan!

Posting khas utk MakNgah Jannah....

2009-04-24T15:57:00.001+08:00

Saje nak kasik jealous skit kan, I am now in the train to Rawang... and yes my kak jannah dearie, I am posting this from my Bl@ckBerry. Teeheehee.Baru je habis training. Saturday nk gi KK lak. Tak sangka lak tinggal office lama. Penat? Kinda. Tapi suka... Looking forward to the KK trip.

I sort of thinking of someone at the moment.
Like him? I do, I do
Miss him? Definitely... Maybe...
Will he think of me too? I sure hope so...

Hari ini hari lahir Nur Ainina Nazmi (which is actually semalam)

2009-04-17T00:02:00.002+08:00

I tak lupa, cuma tak post in the blog je. I wished her well earlier this morning after subuh. Malam tadi layan dia makan fries and bought her birthday cake, nak bawak ke sekolah katanya. So there my dear niece, Happy 14th Birthday. Daymn I feel so old! Hmmmpff...

Hari ini hari Sabtu...

2009-04-04T18:08:00.001+08:00

Today is baking day. Hantu baking datang visiting & I baked cheesetarts & mini cheesecakes.

I made the tart shells some time last week but didn't manage to find time to make the filling. I finally make time today to do the "unfinished business". Boleh la pulak the cream cheese batter tu I buat terlebih. Time for creativity ler.

Bukak kitchen cabinet, nampak papercups. Crush some digestive, tempek kat papercup bottom & fill up the rest with cream cheese. Walllaaaaa! Dapat mini cheesecake 12 ketul...

Pictures? Later sebab its still in the oven.

Hari ini saya...

2009-04-02T20:46:00.001+08:00

Hari ini saya gelak, saya nangis & saya marah. All in one day. Penat sangat... Nanti la, bila dah tak penat, saya akan menulis kembali. Saya nak tido. Selamat malam.

I'm in lurrrrvvvve!!!

2009-04-01T16:16:00.001+08:00

Ngahahahha... Finally I get to blog from my beloved Bla@ckBerry! Rasa macam best je... Lovely!

The world is getting smaller

2008-11-28T10:27:00.004+08:00

Half of my day yesterday spent at Toyota Sales & Service (not that I'm complaining.. wink, wink). Had to ask my colleague to email a few docs to me so that I could finish my work from there. It is just fascinating with the tech, we could be anywhere but still be able to work.

Entry 27th September 2008

2008-10-07T11:56:00.005+08:00

Dear family, friends and foe,

I have just deleted my entry dated above as I feel that it is just way too personal to be read by any Tom, Dick and Harry. To those who have left encouraging comments, thank you so much for your support. I know I am loved and being cared by all of you. Thank you all...

At this moment, I am in the process of rebuilding my life and retracing my steps to the next best laid plan. Please pray with me I'll get through this difficult time smoothly and safely. InsyaAllah...

I hate waiting!!!

2008-10-04T21:35:00.008+08:00

Ape barang kena tunggu neh? Sakit la jiwa aku weih... Ingat aku neh ape? Tunggu, tunggu... eeeiiii... sunggoh la babieeee...

Hokay... enuff, kang banyak - banyak sangat perkataan tak elok kang kena DEMERIT lak. Wahaha. I better not say bad words here. Ngesngesnges...

Me at St@rbucks waiting for this person to come from 8pm tadi tau. Batang hidung pun tarak nampak lagi. Hamfes tol. Sib baik ada HPku ini wat peneman. Lagi setengah jam, mampos la plak notebook nih. Pastu tak bawak adapter... Sunggoh pandai kan kan kan...

What a day!!!! Hmpphfff

Something I received thru my email

2008-09-28T21:21:00.002+08:00

Baru je bukak mail for today and received this from a long lost friend. Thank you Amar kerana mengingatkan kami semua kepada yang telah meninggalkan kita. The truth is I myself selalu teringatkan Arwah Man walaupun I tak rapat dengan dia. I remembered the evening before he passed away, he actually smiled and spoke to me padahal I tak pernah bercakap dengan dia sebelum tu. Here's what Amar wrote:

Jumaat
12:50 pagi
29/03/02
Bilik Study GMi

Pagi tadi aku bangun 7.40 pagi. Pegi bilik Yeop nak pinjam kereta (thnx man, jasa mu akan kukenang...) . Gerak dari hostel GMi pukul 8.40 antar beg Dan kat bukit damansara. Lepak kedai Dan sampai pukul 9 lebih, makan lebih kurang and also pau Dan 10/= (thnx dude.....). Sampai hostel balik dalam pukul 10.00, bagi kunci kete kat Wak. Time aku nak masuk rumah je, shit!!! baru perasan pintu kunci!!!

Lepak umah Jai sorang2 tgk tv.... boring giler. Terpaksa skip class agama and calculus. Save number phone Azman (selayang / mecha 2004) dlm h/p. Semalam tgh hari dia call aku sebab nak pulang kan calculator yg dia pinjam before. Aku kenal Man Mecha dari IKM lg, dia junior aku satu sem. Walaupun x kenal rapat, but we know each other. Dia pulak kenal rapat ngan member aku budak Vi (Reza & Wan).

Call apek ngan man gemok tp x dpt, pukul 11.20 baru dapat. Habis 1.70/=!!!. Jumpa Ed, dia balik hostel nak amik kad charity run (utk amik baju). Apek balik hostel bawak kunci umah. Pegi GMi ngan Apek time lunch. Settlekan presentation for microP. Jumpa Man Mecha kat cermin library, dia jalan kat luar, sempat kutuk man gemok and say hi kat aku.

Pegi class microP, sebelum masuk class hisap rokok kejap ngan man gemok n tod. On the way nak gi class jumpa Man Mecha dgn bebdk class dia. Dia ckp man gemok jalan mcm young & dangerous! Presentation microP okay. Balik pukul 5.40 ptg. Mkn nasi lemak 2 bungkus terus naik atas tidur...

Pukul 8.00 mlm dpt berita Man Mecha meninggal. Accident near zoo negara. Call Reza & Wan. Dorg sempat tgk jenazah kat hospital. Tak tau aper citer sgt sebab payah nak call, credit xde! Study microP sikit esok test.

Semoga roh Man Mecha dicucuri rahmat.
Al-Fatihah.. ......... .......

Assalamualaikum semua...... B4 ni aku x penah tulis kat group ni. This is my 1st time. X tau la kalu korg igt lg aku ke x! Petikan kat atas aku salin balik masa aku tulis malam arwah Man Mecha meninggalkan kita. Esok tu aku ngan bebdk class aku pegi reramai ziarah pengebumian Man. Bebdk batch dia pun ramai dtg including EIT2004. Aku bukan nak sentimental sgt. Tp biasalah, time2 bulan puasa n nak raya ni. Kt mesti terigtkan org yg dah xde n also terigtkn kenangan ngan memember.... Hopefully korg semua x lupakan dia....

Ramadhan 2008

2008-09-07T06:54:00.002+08:00

This is the fourth Ramadhan after the turning point.

InsyaAllah I am still on the track even though I do "tergelincir" a couple of times this year. I realised that I am not that strong. I need to learn more. I also realised that the more I try do good, the more obstacle I will have to face. Banyak betul dugaan saya.

This Ramadhan, for me, is the time for muhasabah diri. I have not been myself for quite sometime and I need time to reflect myself. This is the time for me to sit down and think and rethink whether decisions made by myself earlier on was the right decisions I made for my life.

I really don't know at the moment where my life would lead to right now. I am almost 32 but I still am still searching, searching for the right answers to my questions on life. Searching for clues that could help me decide which path to choose to walk through the journey of my life.

Hmm... mengingatkan I pada Robert Frost's The Road Not Taken.

No title for this one

2008-08-12T20:37:00.002+08:00

Dah nak masuk 2 minggu dah rasa macam ni. Rasa macam penat sangat. Sangat - sangat tak bermaya. Nampak sangat umur makin meningkat.

Tadi, thanks to Facebook, I "jumpa" balik my TESL friends. Most of them are married and some of them dah ada anak... Memang patut pun.

Last Saturday, I pergi wedding my ex-colleague. The truth: I memang tak nak pergi, bukan sebab tak happy diorang nak kahwin, but I takut I tak boleh nak control my emotions. Lately, I senang nak mengalir airmata bila cakap pasal weddings nih.

When will mine be? I don't know, I really don't. I wish I could have a definite answer. A definite answer could help me move on with my life. Bukan macam sekarang. Rasa macam stuck. I can't be here nor there. Ntah la, tengok je la macam mana nanti...

Ingatkan dia?

2008-08-08T11:33:00.000+08:00

It's a long break

2008-08-07T11:46:00.003+08:00

Hmm... Yeah, I know, you don't have to rub it in. It has been what, 3 months since my last post. I must say, there's so much things happening around me, personally and professionally. Penat la wei...

No time ka? Not really. Just plain tired (More of lazy sebenarnya). Tapi ada satu cerita ni yang I akan tulis. Something that I have kept to myself for a long, long time. This was the month, 7 years ago.

So in the mean time, sabo yer, I janji akan publish jugak nanti, before the month ends....

Soul Cleansing Odessey

2008-04-10T11:31:00.002+08:00

I was there and I want to be there again.
I do hope I will be invited again next year.
InsyaAllah....

Kenapa ek?

2008-04-10T11:18:00.002+08:00

Friends used to ask me how come there are no pictures of anyone in my purse or diaries or even in my bedroom. And my answer would always be "Player mana boleh ada benda - benda macam tu, nanti kantol", hehe. Player ke aku neh? Huahaha.

But now, not only I have his picture in my purse, his face is also the wallpaper in my phone. Kenapa ek? Hehe... Buang tebiat kot...

My Big Sister is Coming Home

2008-02-28T11:11:00.002+08:00

Yep, she'll be home just in time for the Pilihanraya. Plans are made, rooms are cleaned, so, kita tunggu dia balik je la kan... Seronok la pulak!

Kes Tersilap Cakap

2008-02-13T14:42:00.003+08:00

Ya Ampuuuunnnn! Semalam saya dah tercakap sesuatu yang tak sepatutnya saya cakap pada seseorang itu. I hope dia tak perasan, but if dia perasan, MALUNYERRRR...

Arrrgh geram betullah!

Terkenang Zaman Dulu...

2008-01-15T21:51:00.000+08:00

We were having tea at the garden one evening when we heard our neighbour were screaming at her son not play outside the house, "it's not safe", she said. I suddenly remembered the good old days when I was about the boy's age.

Those days, right after Asar I would be out playing in the streets. Riding my bike, paddling so fast imagining I'm in a race. Once, I accidently banged a nyonya, she was hurt and I panicked. I just cycled home and hid under the bed. Hey, I was only 5 or 6 then. I was scared okay. Don't blame me for not helping the poor old nyonya. But that incident definitely did not stop me from cycling again the next day.

Then there were rounders. It is something like baseball but we used a flat papan (wood) as the bat. The ball would be a tennis ball. We would be running around with only our underwears, boys and girls.

I was a bit lasak when I was young. I always thought I was a boy. I climbed trees instead of playing barbie. I scraped my knees lots of time. I had ikan laga, lots of them. I just love being outside the house. There was nothing to be scared of. It was safe then...

Harapan Saya untuk Tahun 2008

2007-12-24T20:58:00.000+08:00

Harapan saya untuk tahun 2008 ialah...

Perusahaan saya akan lebih maju sehingga boleh bersaing di peringkat antarabangsa.
Berkongsi hidup bersama orang yang paling saya sayangi dan rindui dalam setengah tahun pertama.
Mengerjakan Umrah bersama kakak dan abang serta isterinya dalam suku tahun pertama.
Melangsaikan hutang belajar pada suku tahun kedua.
Memiliki sebuah rumah pada suku tahun terakhir.

If Only...

2007-12-23T21:52:00.000+08:00

If only I had the courage like I have now back then, I know that certain someone would be happier now. I would be happier myself. I'm not saying I am not happy now, but I would be happier if that certain someone would be happy too.

Family Time 2007 - Bukit Merah Laketown & Penang

2007-12-14T15:33:00.000+08:00

I don't usually do this, but let the picture do the talking this time. Will write again as soon as I get my notebook fixed.

Love is not to Forget but to Forgive

2007-11-27T10:15:00.000+08:00

I checked my mails yesterday and I saw this in one of the mails sent to me. Thought I'd paste it in here and share with others...

LOVE is not to FORGET but to FORGIVE,
Not to SEE but to UNDERSTAND,
Not to HEAR but to LISTEN,
Not to LET GO but to HOLD ON...

Tercipta Untukku - Ungu

2007-11-26T12:59:00.000+08:00

menatap indahnya senyuman diwajahmu
membuat ku terdiam dan terpaku
mengerti akan hadirnya cinta terindah
saat kau peluk mesra tubuhku

banyak kata
yang tak mampu kuungkapkan
kepada dirimu

reff:
aku ingin engkau slalu
hadir dan temani aku
disetiap langkah
yang meyakiniku
kau tercipta untukku
sepanjang hidupku

aku ingin engkau slalu
hadir dan temani aku
disetiap langkah
yang meyakiniku
kau tercipta untukku
meski waktu akan mampu
memanggil seluruh ragaku
ku ingin kau tau
kuslalu milikmu
yang mencintaimu
sepanjang hidupku

aku ingin engkau slalu
hadir dan temani aku
disetiap langkah
yang meyakiniku
kau tercipta untukku
meski waktu akan mampu
memanggil seluruh ragaku
ku ingin kau tau
kuslalu milikmu
yang mencintaimu

Sumber: LirikLaguIndonesia.Net

More Celebrations over the Weekend

2007-11-26T09:45:00.000+08:00

My cousin sister got married last Saturday. The reception was sweet and simple. Her Majlis Akad Nikah was held at the mosque in front of her Granny's house. I, as usual, shed tears every time I attend Majlis Akad Nikah. Tak tau la kenapa, every time I dengar orang lafaz nikah, mesti rasa macam nak nangis. Sensitive ke hape, tak tau la. Most of my uncles and aunts and cousins came back for the wedding. I guess this is more like a family gathering for us.

Yesterday I celebrated my birthday with my family. Takde la ape sangat pun, dah tua, tak la meriah sangat celebration nya. My cousin treated the whole family for breakfast, my mom lunch, and my brother dinner. Kira - kiranya tahun nih punya birthday, I asyik makaaaaaannn je la the whole day. Hehe. Oh, not to forget, my sister in law gave me a long purse. I just luuurrve it.

Nasa, as expected, did not remember.... hmm... MEN!

Ceritera Rindu

2007-11-22T11:12:00.000+08:00

Esok genap sebulan Nasa di perantauan. I have to admit, I do miss him and I miss him a lot. Selama kami berchenta ni, tak pernah lagi kami berkeadaan macam ni. Dulu, masa dia di KL, I could still hear his voice at least once a day but not this time. The last time we spoke to each other was the day before he flew for London. We had a long chat via the phone. Luckily I subscribed to 1+3 punya scheme, kalau tak, for sure bill aku melambung bulan tu.

Teruk juga rupanya bila rindu ni ye. Everything rasa macam not right, not complete. I miss everything about him; his voice, his jokes, his laugh, his temper, his touch, his hugs, his smell...

So Hunny, if you happen to read this, I want you to know I been thinking about you and I miss you so much.

I am so short of ideas...

2007-11-08T22:26:00.000+08:00

that I think I should just go to bed now.
I shall try to write again tomorrow.

Gute Nacht.

Birthday Celebration

2007-11-05T22:55:00.000+08:00

It's Mommy's birthday today. She is 64. She had lots of gifts this year, mostly from her grandchildren. We, her children on the other hand treated her for a dinner. Kalau nak ikutkan, apa lah sangat harga makan malam kalau nak dibandingkan dengan segala pengorbanan Mommy untuk kami semua.

Weekend Updates

2007-10-23T11:05:00.000+08:00

I was supposed to go out with Nasa lepas kerja last Saturday. But then, we did not. Abah was admitted to the hospital and he had to take care of Abah. It was quite sad because Nasa is leaving for London this evening and now Abah is ill. He is worried to the max.

But I did meet him on Sunday though. Brought along the cheese cake and the baked macaroni I baked for him. I’m glad he loved it. That night, salam – salam dgn dia, mintak maaf segala. Dia pesan to take care of myself since he will not be around for the next 3 months. Mak wanted to meet me. They waited but I came late. I felt bad I made them wait. Since Abah was not quite well yet, Nasa promised Mak he’ll take me to Sg. Lembing as soon as he’s back in Malaysia.

Also on that Saturday, my cousin arrived from KL with her friends. She called me to pick them up at Vistana so that I could show them around Kuantan. My cousin tu hopeless skit when it comes to directions. Just imagine, nak sampai ke rumah I, tak tau berapa kali dia tawaf Bandar Kuantan tu baru jumpa my house. Sabo je la.

Anyway, she's here because of the World Silat Championship that is now being held at SUKPA. I don't exactly know what she does but apparently she is doing some sort of a research on event management thingy. Since this cousin of mine nih dah tak balik Kuantan dalam 3-4 tahun dah, so I pun obliged la nak entertain she and her friends.

Yang tak larat tu 2 hari berturut - turut I balik pukul 1 pagi. Dang! I betul - betul dapat LESEN BESAR from my parents. Hehe. I nih kan, seperti yang sedia maklum adalah anak yang baik lagi mendengar kata. Mana la I biasa balik pepagi bute nih. Because of that, I am now having fever. Teruk kan? Nampak sangat tak gheti keluar malam. Hehe. Went to the clinic yesterday and doctor kasik MC. Went home and slept the whole afternoon. Bliss!

Iftar at the Grand C0n

2007-10-08T14:20:00.000+08:00

Last Friday we had our Iftar at GC. Takdek la grand sangat pun. There were 30 of us, most of them supies and of course our MD and Director were also there. MD brought his wife along and sat satu table ngan I. Mula - mula tu rasa kekok since I have never spoke to him informally, but later I found out that he's quite friendly. His wife is friendly too. Walaupun depa tu tak berapa nak gheti nak cakap omputih, but they really tried to be friendly to everybody.

The food was good but I only ate a little sebab dah tak boleh nak masuk dah perut. Rugi kalau bawak I pegi buffet neh, bayar mahal tapi makan ciput. So kalau - kalau ada orang yang terfikir nak ajak I gi buffet tu, better think twice. Kalau ala carte takper. Hehe.

Lepas makan - makan, sure la ada photography session kan. Hmm, apa lagi, flash kelip sana sini la. Rasa macam glam je malam tu. Padahal hakikatnya takdek la glam sangat.

Bila dah siap semua, baru la sibuk nak cari tempat solat. Punya la jauh, naik lift, jalan sampai keluar kat parking area, pastu naik lift lagi, baru jumpa surau. Walaupun surau tu susah skit nak cari, tapi kira okayla sebabnya prihatin jugak la hotel tu nak sediakan ruang solat. It is an apartment they convert it into ruang solat.

Lepas solat tu, terus get ready nak balik. Lepak jap depan pintu hotel tu, amik gambar lagi and finally I was ready to go home. All in all, the event was fun.

Siapa Sangka???

2007-10-02T23:02:00.000+08:00

Who would have thought that my mobile number yang I dah gune since 2000 sebenarnya berharga ribuan ringgit malaysia. How I know? Here's how...

I went to my service provider this afternoon to register a new mobile number for my personal use. Little that I know that we can actually migrate from prepaid to postpaid but still maintaining the prepaid mobile number. The CSO told me I could, so I decided to go for it. I told her my number and her response was, "Puan, kalau puan nak tau, number puan nih kalau orang nak beli, the cost would be RM1000.00". "Seriyes? Oh man, mahalnye number aku!", terkejut beruk I kejap.

Mana taknye, I ingat lagi masa I beli number tu, rege dia RM138.00. Itu harga masa memula prepaid SIM keluar. Rasa macam mahal sangat dah masa tu. Tak sangka la pulak sekarang buleh jadi rege cam gitu. But then, rasa bangga gak. Ehehehe. Tak sanggup I nak jual number tu. Kalau orang offer lebey dari tu pun I taknak jual. Sayang beb. Dah jadi macam darah daging dah, sebati ngan hidup. Kalau guna number lain, musti rasa strange je.

Ramadhan Datang Lagi

2007-09-12T20:02:00.000+08:00

Esok kita start puasa. The third year after the Incident...

Tuhan,

Aku bersyukur

Kau berikan aku peluang

Peluang untuk perbaiki hidupku

Tuhan,

Tiga tahun lalu

Aku hanyut dalam duniaku sendiri

Aku hanyut dalam keseronokan

Sehingga aku lupa padaMu

Tuhan,

Sesungguhnya Kau masih sayang padaku

Aku bersyukur kerana Kau masih mengingatiku

Kau berikanku jalan, Tuhan

Jalan untuk aku kembali kepadaMu

Tuhan,

Aku kembali padaMu

Setelah sekian lama aku lupakanMu

Setelah sekian lama aku ingkar

Tuhan,

Aku berdoa padaMu

Jangan dipesongkan hatiku ini

Tetapkanlah Imanku

Aku ingin menjadi umatMu yang paling taat

Aku ingin kembali padaMu, Ya Rabbi

Sesungguhnya aku hanya insan yang kerdil lagi hina

Yang tidak kebal dari melakukan dosa

Yang tidak kebal dari godaan syaitan

Aku mohon perlindungan dariMu

Tuhan sekelian alam...

Aduh.... Sakit Jantung dibuatnya

2007-09-02T21:53:00.000+08:00

Okay, this entry will be in Malay and English.... rojak day today..

Petang tadi sepatutnya pegi dating ngan Abang before dia balik KL. Tapinye entah kenapa dia tak call. I tried texting him, tapi it didn't get through. Mula-mula relax je, knowing him yang selalu handphone batterynya kaput. Tapi bila dah sampai ke petang, still takdek khabar berita, mula la hati nih pikir yang bukan-bukan.

I paling risau kalau anything happened to him. Eiii, taknak imagine pun. I taknak jadi macam my friend a couple of years ago when her boyfriend meninggal sebab accident. Sangat kesian. I don't think I can handle that you see. I may not be as strong as my friend. Mahu lembik aku kot.

Setelah penat risau-risau kan diri, akhirnya dekat-dekat pukul 10 tadi, baru la dapat cerita yang sebenar-benarnya. Rupa-rupanya kawan yang dia supposed to car pool nak balik KL, accident plak kat Kemaman. Yang dia ni, dok jadi kawan yang baik lagi bertanggungjawab, pi la tengok kawan dia tu kat Kemaman. Patah kaki katanya. Minah tu plak, handphonenya pecah disebabkan oleh accident tu, maka digunakan pulak la handphone Abang sebagai ganti.

Maka, conclusionnya, tolong la Abang ooiii, lain kali jangan la buat orang risau macam nih. Sakit jantung dibuatnya!

Isn't This Amazing?

2007-08-20T20:37:00.000+08:00

Look at this pic. This is actually a part of tangga at Pahlawan Mall in Melaka. Yep, I was in Melaka last week. Melaka has changed since the last time I went there back in 2004. Dulu takde Pahlawan Mall, skarang nah, gedegang kat tengah padang tu.

When I first saw the mall, I said to myself, "Oh no, not another mall?!!" Memang la pada dasarnya it is a mall, takde beza dari mall - mall yang lain kat Malaysia ni. But when I went to the other side of the mall, there you are, I saw this beautiful tangga. Cantik sangat! I have to say this is fine art guys. I have to compliment the people behind this project. Bravo guys, you have left me gawping at the tangga.. Tee hee

Tempat Kerja Baru

2007-07-18T21:53:00.000+08:00

Hmm... was supposed to write about this earlier tapi gwe sibuk sekali deh...

My contract with my previous dept ended early June, just in time for my holiday in Bandung. I was 3 weeks without a job until they (the company that I used to work with) called me back for another position. They called up to meet on Wednesday, June 27th, and I started working again the very next day.

New dept, new boss, new challenge, and I'm ready for it!

Kalau tak ready pun, kena ready jugak sebab the pay is high! heheheh... Akak kaya dik bulan neh...!

Guess Who?

2007-06-24T20:51:00.000+08:00

Tuan-tuan dan puan-puan, cuba teka siapa jejaka ini. Revealing first time evah!

Andy

2007-06-15T14:38:00.000+08:00

Lemme tell you about this guy, Andy. I started to know him when I accidentally landed on his blog about a year ago while googling some stuff. I read his blog that day and have been reading ever since (I'm not sure if he reads my blog though... hehe).

Because I am here in Kuantan and he is in Bandung, we could either text to each other or meet online, until last week, when my sister and I had our vacation in Bandung. When he texted me that he would be coming to the hotel on that Saturday morning, I wondered if I would be able to recognise him. Well, hey, I did!

Now that I have met him, I find him pleasant to be with. He is what my sister call, the "budak baik" type. Well, I think so too. My sister's children adored him for god knows why. Whenever he is not around, one of them would surely ask me or my sister, "Where is Uncle Andy? Why isn't he with us?" I tell you Andy, what did you actually do to my niece and nephew sampai both of them suka sangat kat you? Jealous I tau since I am their favourite Aunt!

So Andy, it is nice to have you as a friend and I am glad I accidentally landed on your blog...

Vacation in Bandung (Part 1)

2007-06-13T21:04:00.000+08:00

Hmmm.... this is day two after my Bandung trip but I still have not write anything about it. Yep, I have promised Andy that I should be writing as soon as I am home but as usual, me, being the Queen of Procrastination would rather keep the ideas until I don't know when.... Hehehe

After all, now that I have more time to spend in front of my notebook, I guess I can probably write it..... tomorrow! How about that? ;p

That Time of the Year has Arrived!

2007-06-03T12:52:00.000+08:00

It's official! The season has started. Oh you know what I mean... Just a couple of weeks ago I received four wedding invitations. My parents received more than that. Out of four, I attended only one. I went to another one with my parents yesterday since I had to be their driver and today, I had to attend another one because the reception is right in front of my house. Memang tak boleh nak elak!

Nak elak ke? Bukan nak elak, but then malas nak pegi. I'm just not comfy going to wedding receptions. If I go to my relative's reception, the number one question would always pop out and as always, I would anwer "No, not yet." Then of course they would go on with, "Kenapa tak kawin lagi?" Laa.... payah nak jawab soklan nih. Nak tak nak, sengih je la. Some of them would be satisfied with my sengih "kerang busuk". But some of them will just go on asking, "Tak de lagi ke?" Haaa... yang nih soklan killer... Memang orang yang tanya tu nak kena bunuh..... If I happen to be in a good mood, I would be answering that question in a polite way. But if I am not, this would be my answer, "Memang takde lagi. Kenapa? Dah ade calon untuk saya ke? Kalau bukan engineer, tak payah nak recommend la ye...." Hehehe... Jahatnye la aku.... ;p

No title for this one...

2007-05-22T20:49:00.000+08:00

Why am I so full of rage at this moment? Asyik rasa nak marah je everytime I am at home? What is wrong with me exactly? I am so afraid to even speak because I know it will come out nasty even if I have no intention of doing it? I feel like hitting someone, kicking butt and even smashing their heads to the wall, I really do. I feel like shouting so loud just to let all this anger subside, I really do!

I need to talk to someone but I don't know where to start. What would I tell when I don't even know the reason I feel this way. HELP ME....

MC la pulak!

2007-05-09T20:54:00.000+08:00

For more than 2 weeks I suffered from CTS. I finally surrendered yesterday night as it gave unbearable pain on my right hand. I could barely sleep yesterday and I felt helpless. Hey, it is so painful that I shed tears (not that I always do that). No painkiller could help ease the pain. Kalau ikut perasaan, malam semalam jugak nak pegi hospital.

I went to my Ortho this morning and he gave me the steroid jab to lessen the swelling. He suggested I should opt for a minor surgery to release the vein. If I were to have that surgery, I should be having it 8 weeks from now (Err... 8 weeks? hmm... Is that before of after the Bandung trip? Gotta check my schedule).

Anyway, my right hand is all puffed up; the effect of the jab. Can't do much when it's all puffed up. As a result, I get 2 days of medical leave. BLISS! Hehehehe

Ape Malang la Haku Arineh????

2007-04-24T20:49:00.000+08:00

Adulaaaa... Believe it or not, I went to the office this morning tak bawak satu hape pun! I left all my things which I put it in my working bag and sesuka hati je aku pi tinggal. The best part was I only realised I left it when I was already in front of the Plant gate.

It worries me when I actually noticed I am sooooo absent minded now. I forget things easily. Amik document, bawak pi kat meja Salwa, and I end up leaving the document there. After that, I'll be busy searching for it all over the place. Sungguh tidak productive. Does this mean I am getting way too old? Hmm... Don't think so... hehhehe. (Cesss, taknak ngaku tu awak tu dah tua!)

So, back to my story pagi tadi. Since I dah tinggalkan my bag tu kat rumah, time lunch tadi, siap pinjam duit ngan orang nak makan. Malu siot. Sungguh malu. heheheh...

Dah la ari nih nak bukak Tender Box. Sudahnye kena bukak esok jugak sebab kunci tu takdek....

Sebab tinggal bag jugak la saya takleh nak gi yoga arineh... baju tarak!

Ingatkan sampai situ episod malang, rupa-rupanya ade lagi sambungannya. Tadi pi town ngan Mommy nak pi amik my sunglasses. Dah sampai kedai, org tu kasik specs suruh try pakai. Haram sunggoh! Bila pakai, tak nampak satu haram pun. Ntah hape masalah la lenses tu sampai tak nampak... Dah la kena anto lab balik.

In short, memang hari nih hari malang saya.... HAMPEH!!!

Wish List Item No. 3

2007-03-27T21:34:00.000+08:00

Ahh... I finally registered myself for Yoga classes. Started on Monday and today my body aches like hell! You see, I have not been exercising since the knee ops I had two years ago and I really think I should start again, exercising, I mean...

I'm going again tomorrow. Hope I'll survive...

I carry Your Heart with Me

2007-03-12T20:07:00.000+08:00

I was reading Cummings the other day and I came across this beautiful poem.

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it (anywhere i go you go,my dear; and whatever is
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear no fate (for you are my fate,my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

When I'm Fuming MAD...

2007-02-05T22:11:00.000+08:00

When I'm fuming mad...

My brains are numb.

My mouth just refuse to blurt things out.

O how I wish I could have that "zing" just like Joe Fox so that I can say things I wanna say when I'm mad.

Would'nt it be nice if I have the "zing"?

Why can't I?

2006-11-29T00:01:00.000+08:00

Why can't I tell him that I really like him?
Why can't I tell him that he is fine just the way he is?
Why can't I tell him that he and I complement each other?
Why can't I tell him that I am willing to spend the rest of my life with him, through and through?

Why can't I tell him I want to be the person that he love most and I would love him back as much?
Why can't I tell him I don't want to settle down with anyone else except him?
Why can't I tell him I don't want to bear anyone else's children but only his?

Why can't I tell him all this when I know I really want him to know how I feel?
Why can't I?
Why can't I?
Why can't I?

Dang! I hate myself for not being able to tell him all this and it doesn't do me any good!

30 years and still going strong

2006-11-25T16:04:00.000+08:00

It's my birthday today. I do hope I will be able to live life as fulfilling as it could be...

Dan buat sekian kalinya, dia lupa...

Cerita Korea

2006-11-20T21:33:00.000+08:00

I got hooked with this Korean series, The Wedding. Because of that I insist on going home at 5.30pm sharp so I could arrive home at 6.30pm. As a result, I have to be in the office as early as 7.30am. That would lead to me waking up very very early in the morning to get ready. To be able to wake up early, I have to sleep early. And all this happened because I got hooked with this Korean series, The Wedding...

Ya ampunnnn, banyaknyer kije!

2006-10-31T20:03:00.000+08:00

I had a splendid week of raya. My house was ambushed by my cousins on the first day. Penatnye toksah cakap la, sampai rasa nak muntah. My brother and sisters along with their spouse and children all beraya in Kuantan this year, so bertambah meriah la kan raya kali nih.

Tapi yang tak tahannye, after one week of cuti raya sakan, kerja kat ofis tu haaa.. setimbun! Kita ye la cuti, tapi user kat plant mana ade nak cuti. Last-last haku jugak yang kena balik lambat. Padan muka diri sendiri...

But then again, biar aje la... Bak kata my manager, kijer takkan pernah abish... btol tak?

I Remember...

2006-10-19T23:00:00.000+08:00

I remember the first time we met. Yes, on the Internet. We chatted for hours, changing opinions; about things, about the environment, about people around us. Our virtual meeting was soon forgotten until one day you took the initiative to give me call (which I don't remember giving you my phone number). I was surprised but I was glad you called.

I remember you were always ready to hear me expressing my frustations during the FYP ordeal even though I know you haven't had a clue of what I was saying. Be it day or night, you seem to be always ready to pick up my calls.

I remember when we first decided to actually meet. You warned me that you look exactly like Shrek. I of course wittily replied that it would be perfect as I am Princess Fiona after dark. I was worried the whole week before we met. I was worried I made a mistake into agreeing to meet you. I was worried you might not turn up at all. I was worried I may not turn up. I was worried worrying. I was also anxious. I was anxious to meet you; to be able to know you in person.

I remember on that day, I waited for you at the wrong entrance. When you finally found me, I thought to myself, "Hey, he's okay, not bad at all!" You were no Shrek. Heck, you don't even have the green skin!

I remember we drove to the Twin Towers in my humble lil car. It was already Zohor and you insisted we pray first before going for lunch. Hmm... one extra mile for you. But I also thought you were just trying to impress me by being a Tok Lebai. Of course I thought wrong.

I remember our first of many lunches together. I even remembered what we ate that day. I remember how surprised you were when you found out we have the same name when you wrote our name in the gallery guest book.

I remember our meetings grew more frequent after that. There were always reasons to meet. I remember the visit to the museum and yes, I remember the night of Starlight Movies.

I remember the first time you met my parents. You were awed by Mommy's charm and Babah's charisma. Well, hey, guess what? They have the same feelings towards you as well!

All that happened two years ago and I remembered...

Wish List

2006-07-19T22:59:00.000+08:00

This list will definitely grow...

Kawin sebelum apa2 terjadi to mommy and babah (but then, nak kawin ngan sape ek?)
Get a new car (hajatnye nak Jazz, tapi kalau dapat Satria pun dah kira bersyukur)
Lose some weight
Visit kak liza n abg mikail
Bandung!
Redecorate my room
Get a better paying job
Write more often
Brush up on my German (which is soooo basic and I need to do it ASAP before I forget everything!)

Guess who's being called for an interview?

2006-06-25T21:44:00.000+08:00

ME! Obvoiusly... hehe. I got back from KL yesterday and I saw a letter addressed to me on my desk. On the envelope was written in big capital letters "URUSAN KERAJAAN" and "PANGGILAN TEMUDUGA". I was like, "interview ape lak neh?". Rupa-rupanya it was a post that I applied a couple years ago. Punya la lama sampai dah tak ingat dah.

I am both right now happy as well as nervous. Happy because I am finally being called after two years of waiting. Nervous because it has been like years since I left college and I can't really remember what I learnt anymore (tu la penangan belajo lain, tapi kerja pi buat yang lain, padan muka aku). On top of that, I am being called for an interview for a post at The National Space Agency. Lagi la takut kan. More reading for me I guess! But what to read?

Friends, pray for me I get through the interview okay. I know if I get this job, I will not let go the opportunity to be a part of this agency. It's kinda kool, is it not?

Khas Untuk Adeq

2006-05-08T20:04:00.000+08:00

Adik, this one's for you. Enjoy it.

In Loving Memory: NKOTB : 1990 - 1993.

2006-05-08T19:14:00.000+08:00

Hehehe, remember the good ol' days? Those were the days of bad hairstyles and flotsam-jetsom pants (re: colorful/polka-dotted trousers). I remember I went goo-goo ga-ga over these boys for years. Teenagers la katakan! Hmm... those were the days...

Woo hooo! Happiness!

2006-05-05T19:40:00.000+08:00

Alas... I have a reason to quit. What's the reason? Haaaa... RAhsieeerrr! And I am feeling very, very light right now. Rasa macam nak terbang. No more dealing with the WITCH! The only thing I can say now is WOOOHOOO.... I'M FREE!!!

Biarlah Rahsia

2006-04-24T23:22:00.000+08:00

Keheningan Malam Membangunkan

Kepayahan Jiwa Meluahkan

Andai Kau Jujur Memahami

Tiadaku Menjauhi

Dan Kisahku Yang Masih Panjang

Menambahkan Berat Yang Memandang

Lantas Ku Pendam

Ku Putuskan

Biarlah Rahsia...

This is a part of Che' Siti's latest song and this is exactly what I am feeling right now... Biarlah rahsia...

I need a JOB!

2006-04-18T19:12:00.000+08:00

Ya Allah! What is happening to me? I need a job, a proper job. I'm sick and tired of doing something that I don't really want to do it. I wouldn't be doing an engineering course if I wanna be a teacher.

I have to admit, nothing is easy. But I am determined to get what I really want. InsyaAllah I will not quit until I am there. I may have to face a lot of difficulties along the way, thus I need all the support that I can get.

Teddy, you are the closest to me and I need help. I really do...

Ish! Apekebendenyer?

2006-04-14T20:37:00.000+08:00

I have a friend, or shall I say a best friend. We were born in the same year; he arrived in this world in January and I was born ten months after that. He is the first baby boy in his family while I am the youngest daughter of my family. I never like what he likes and he never likes what I like. There is nothing in common between us but somehow we stick together like magnets. (Prolly we are of different pole!)

I met him today. Hmm... happiness! (mind you, we seldom meet; busy, busy man indeed). But that is not what I wanna write about. What is in my mind right now is: WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH HIM? Apekebendernye neh? He always have girlfriends (I think bitches are more appropriate; sorry dude) who ends up hurting him and it hurts when I see him hurt. Why is it hard for him to see which one is good for him and which one is not? Sometimes I feel like knocking on his head so that he could see clearer (Hmm... maybe if I pinch him harder, which I always do, he could see clearer kot. Tee hee). Why can't he see that there are far more better girls out there, who sincerely and wholeheartedly cares about him are available but no, he still chooses those bitches who are capable of hurting him. Eiiii... geram sungguh tau!!!

Teddy, please look around you, and when I say look, you better look carefully. Your problem is my friend, you NEVER looked at the right direction. I know what you are looking for is right in front of you but you are too blind (or rather too stoopid) to see. Jangan nanti bila orang tu dah takde, baru nak sedar she's the right person for you. I don't want you to get hurt again and again. Allah gave you perfect senses, perfect brains for you to use it, please, I beg you, use it wisely. Istikharah and InsyaAllah you will get the answer. I can only listen to your problems and kutuk you a lil bit but it is God's will that will help you see clearly. Apa-apa pun, please remind me to knock on your head when I see you next time.

MasyaAllah, lamanya!

2006-04-12T16:06:00.000+08:00

It has been a while I neglegted this blog of mine. Lama giler tak ngeblog. Tee hee. Where was I? Trying to sort out things. I have been out of my "orbit" and I am really messed up right now. My age is catching up on me and all my plans tak menjadi. WTF!

There are moments that I feel like going away, somewhere where people don't know me. Start a new life or something. Hijrah. It is been said that if things did not turn up as you planned, it is better for you to start anew somewhere else. I don't know. Sometimes we feel that the grass is greener on the other side of the field but what we don't know is that it could only be synthetic grass that we see. But on the other hand, if we don't try to go to the other side of the field, we will never know that it is synthetic. Get what I mean?

Seriously, what I am going through right now somehow demotivates me in every single way. Have you ever felt so hopeless when everything that you plan does not fall into places? I worked so hard to get to where I am now, but still, hopeless, helpless. Perhaps rezeki tu belum ada kot.

God, I know You are testing me and I am greatful and thankful to You. This is the only way I know that You are watching me and You want me to be more faithful to You. InsyaAllah I will never forget to be ever faithful to You God as You never forget me as Your ever faithful servant. Amiin Ya Robbal 'Alamiin....

Kodok oh Kodok

2005-10-14T16:31:00.000+08:00

I brought the game into this house and three of my housemates got addicted to it. Hari - hari nak main kodok. Yang peliknya, kenapa I tak addicted to it pun? Hehe... Sorry guys...

I Envy You...

2005-10-12T12:06:00.000+08:00

I envy...
Those who can write beautifully

I envy...
Those who can write pages and pages of words

I envy...
Those who can just write all their heart out

I envy...
You...

Mommy, sakit kaki....

2005-09-22T21:55:00.000+08:00

My uni organised an event last Saturday. My housemates and I woke up as early as 5am to get ready for the event. By 7am all of use rode the bus to Kubang Gajah where the event is supposed to take off. It's a 10km (13.8km actually) walk event; which means we had to walk 10km from Kubang to Mata Ayer to Jejawi to the kampungs in between that I don't know their names to Dewan Warisan, right in the heart of Kangar.

Twas quite an experience for me and few of my friends. You see, being a city girl I never had the privilege to walk thru sawah bendang. Like what orang utara would say, "peghak". Everything was a first for me that day; first time attempting to walk 10km without any prior training and first time to walk thru a bendang. Best giler I tell you! TERUJA is the word.

Teruja, teruja jugak. By the time we covered 3/4 of the route, my legs were threatening to give up on her master. But I was determined to finish what I have started an hour ago. After huffing and puffing for another 1/2 hour, I finally reached the destination. I was so damn tired that I could hardly angkat kaki... Mommy, my leg hurts!

Horrible Week

2005-08-20T06:49:00.000+08:00

Guten Morgen. Couldn't resist writing before I go. It had been a hectic and frustrating week for me. Came back from outbound skool (mental note: will write about it, wonderful experience) without having enough sleep, without my voice (had terrible cough and still having it). Had tests on Wednesday and Thursday, which one of them has fallen under the terjun lombong category. Then one of my two labs did not worked out as it is supposed to work,therefore I could not report the correct results to my JP. I hope my trip to Penang would rejuvenate me for next week's battle; another 2 tests. Yikes!

Teddy, thanks for turning up last Monday. Short but sweet and meaningful.

First entry

2005-08-20T00:12:00.000+08:00

Hmmm... I finally did it. Alhamdulillah, syukur pada Tuhan. This is going to be the beginning of my blogging journey, in which I hope to be able to write as often as I can. For now, this will do.... Will write again as soon as I get back from Penang...

To you, you know who you are, take care coz I care....